


Brother, I’m Home

by AceyEnn



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Folger’s Commercial, Coffee, Crack, F/M, Humor, Incest, Script Fic, mentions of Dave’s rapping but nothing too explicit, no formatting because it doesn’t deserve it, shit I wrote while the power was out and I had nothing better to do, the unwelcome idea of folgers fleshlights, vague offscreen wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-02-01 04:55:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21386230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceyEnn/pseuds/AceyEnn
Summary: Rose and Dave star in a commercial for a certain brand of instant coffee.
Relationships: Rose Lalonde/Dave Strider
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Brother, I’m Home

**Author's Note:**

> i wasn’t gonna post this but my friends told me to. enjoy i guess??

ROSE: Brother dearest, I’m home from the vague alien war, upon which the author has zero desire to elaborate. 

DAVE: yo rose i wrote you a rap for when you returned 

ROSE: Cool. 

ROSE: Exactly how much incestuous subtext is there this time? 

DAVE: freuds boner is poppin through the soil at this shit

DAVE: like jesus rose it aint even subtext at this point its basically the text 

DAVE: the subtext is dead and buried along with the gay subtext in every childrens cartoon worth watching in this the year of our lord 2019

DAVE: were being banned in russia rose

ROSE: Excellent. I would expect nothing less. 

ROSE: Now will you stop standing in the fucking doorframe and let me in? It’s below freezing outside.

DAVE: oh shit sorry yeah ill

ROSE: With your body.

ROSE: ...Not like that. 

ROSE: Yet.

DAVE: aw man

ROSE: Thank you.

ROSE: Do I smell coffee?

DAVE: hell yeah its folgers bitch

DAVE: god such good coffee

DAVE: id fuck folgers would you fuck folgers sis 

ROSE: No, but I’d drink it. 

DAVE: oh okay ill hide my folgers fleshlight

DAVE: fuck now im more interested in folgers than in my sick rhymes

DAVE: what if i rapped about folgers instead

ROSE: Shut up and kiss me, brother.

**Author's Note:**

> it’s a joke don’t @ me


End file.
